need another drink. this is the easiest way
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
