i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
We need a shit load of segways right now
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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