you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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