I murdered the dance floor call the cops
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
