Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
