I could make wine with my vomit
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
