i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
