He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
