i was rollin on her like bob the builder
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
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Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
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I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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