Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
