My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
