Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
