Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
