Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
