In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
