garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize