is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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