eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
