When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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