I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
please don't ironically join a cult
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