So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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