Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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