There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
