Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
