We won't sleep together?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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