I want to stick my p in your. b.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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