she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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