I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
