oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
