he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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