nut hugger
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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