I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I think a kid would responsible me up
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
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