I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
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I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
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Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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