margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize