Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
