I wanna passion pit in your ass
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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