Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
how does that bad decision feel?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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