I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
