Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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