honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
