They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
