Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
All I want is dick and wine.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
