why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
