end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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