Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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