Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
