Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
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