After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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