So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
