i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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