Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
