I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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