I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize