Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
being pregnant is like rehab
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
