You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
