Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Randomize
