ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
