i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
