Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
