Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
