yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
