3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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