oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
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either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
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I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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