I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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